Permission Slip Not Required

Another Friday, another revelation!

Here's an uncomfortable truth: Donald Trump might be teaching us more about self-worth than any wellness podcast.

Watching him operate in his second presidency made me realize something I'd never quite seen before. This isn't about politics - it's about how someone can just... assume they belong. No seeking validation, no asking for permission, just existing as if their worthiness is a given.

And it got me thinking: what would happen if the rest of us tried that approach?

Since November 2024, I've become more selective of my news sources, but that hasn't prevented me from occasionally watching the political theatre play out. I remember the fear when Trump won in 2016. Trump 1.0 was chaotic, yes, but there were guardrails: advisors who valued rules, discipline, and decorum. Seven months into Trump 2.0, the chaos feels more unfiltered and the guardrails seem gone.

And that's what got me thinking: is this just politics, or is it a mindset the rest of us are supposed to embrace too? When the rules feel shaky, do you double down on seeking approval? Or do you throw it all out and claim your place anyway?

So what does it look like when someone throws out the rulebook entirely? Here's where Trump 2.0 gets interesting, because watching him made me realize something uncomfortable about myself.

I've been thinking about why I'm constantly performing - in job interviews, networking events, even in how I show up as a father. There's this underlying current where I'm always trying to prove I'm worthy of being in the room, worthy of success, worthy of good things happening to me.

I see it in how I apologize for my achievements, downplay my skills, wait for permission to want what I want. Even when things are going well, there's this nagging voice asking "Do I really belong here?"

I'm walking around with these fundamental questions echoing in my head: "Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say matter?" Always seeking some external validation that I'm enough.

But watching Trump 2.0 operate made me realize something I'd never quite thought before: Trump 2.0 isn't just a political story. It's a masterclass in worthiness.

Here's what hit me while I was watching all this unfold: there's something about the way Trump 2.0 operates that I can't ignore, even if it makes me uncomfortable.

It's not about his policies or his politics - it's about this unapologetic sense of worthiness he carries. Yes, half the country voted for him, and that matters. But what I'm talking about is something different. It's this bravado, this personal confidence that seems to come from a place of "I'm worthy because I'm here." Not "I'm worthy because of what I've accomplished" or "I'm worthy because you approve of me." Just... "I'm here, and that's enough."

I've been sitting with this observation for the last few weeks, wondering if there's something I can actually learn from it. Because while I'm over here constantly second-guessing myself: did I say the right thing in that meeting? Should I have spoken up? Am I qualified enough to have an opinion on this? And he's just... existing as if his presence alone justifies his place in the room.

I'm not saying I want to be him. But there's something intriguing about that level of unquestioned self-worth that, honestly, I think I could use a little bit of. What would it look like if I stopped waiting for permission to be here and just... was?

Here's what really gets to me: I'm watching everyone - corporate leaders, politicians, institutions that used to push back - all conceding to this unapologetic approach. And meanwhile, I'm over here being polite and restrained while my life demands something bigger from me.

I'm at a crossroads I've written about before: laid off, father to a 2-year-old, trying to be a provider in a city that's increasingly divided between the haves and have-nots. The stakes aren't theoretical for me right now. I need to succeed, and I need it to happen soon.

So watching all these powerful people fall in line with someone who just assumes he belongs made me ask myself an uncomfortable question: What if my approach - the calculated, apologetic, wait-for-permission approach - is actually the problem?

I've been the guy who downplays achievements in interviews, who asks "is this okay?" instead of just doing it, who waits for someone else to validate that I deserve to be in the room. But what if that's exactly what's keeping me from getting where I need to be?

Sure, I don't have the leverage of the President of the United States. But maybe there's a version of this unapologetic worthiness that I can try. Maybe instead of asking for permission in networking conversations, salary negotiations, even in how I show up as a father - I just start assuming I belong there.

I've been lying awake this past week, my mind racing about my next career move - how to make it a real slam dunk. And in those sleepless hours, I keep coming back to the same question: What would happen if I stopped proving I deserve success and just started expecting it?

But here's where I have to be clear about what I'm willing to adopt and what I'm not. I want to show up as worthy because I exist, but I still want to be someone my daughter can look up to. I still want to be honest, take feedback, admit when I'm wrong.

The version of worthiness I'm after isn't about becoming immune to criticism or accountability. It's about not apologizing for being in the room while still being the kind of person I want to be. It's about expecting success without abandoning my values.

I can operate from a place of assumed worthiness and still listen when my husband tells me I'm being difficult. I can walk into that job interview expecting to belong there and still be someone who learns, grows, and course-corrects when needed.

Because at the end of the day, I want to model confidence for my daughter - not arrogance. I want her to see someone who believes he deserves good things and also takes responsibility for his actions. But more than that, I want her to grow up never questioning her own inherent worthiness. I want her to know she's capable, powerful, intelligent, and completely validated - not because of what she accomplishes, but because she exists. That's the kind of worthiness I'm willing to fight for.

Regardless of how you feel about him or what party you belong to, he's our leader for the next four years. I'm choosing to see this moment as an opportunity to learn something I need - not about politics, but about worthiness. Sometimes the mirror we need comes from the most unexpected places. So here's my question: Is this it? Is this the moment I stop asking for permission to succeed and just start expecting it?

My new weekly section: a fraction for something that moved me forward this week, and a fiction for something that turned out to be a distraction or illusion.

Fraction: After a couple exhausting weeks of potty training, we might finally be turning a corner with our daughter becoming consistent at understanding what her body is telling her. No doubt it will continue to be a journey, but we keep reminding ourselves there will come a day when we say "remember when" and reminisce about this rewarding struggle.

Fiction: Taylor Swift announced her new album and suddenly my feed is dominated by fans analyzing her "easter eggs" - finding divine significance in colors, numbers, outfit choices. I'm a Swifty, but c'mon... I can't buy that someone has the mental bandwidth to cook up all these intricate coded messages. Sometimes a red dress is just a red dress. The collective energy spent decoding these supposed clues feels like the perfect weekly fiction.

If you enjoy where this is headed, don't just sit there - forward it to your friends, family, that one person who always sends you interesting articles (consider it practice in not asking for permission).

Drop a comment or ❤️ if you enjoyed this.

Let's make Is This It? your Friday check-in before you head into whatever weekend adventure awaits. 

Until Next Friday!

Chris

Next Week: The seasons are shifting, school's back, and everything feels like it's in transition. But here's what I'm wondering: are we changing too, or just letting time pass us by?

Quick confession: I used AI to help me work through this entire essay. Claude helped me untangle my thoughts, tighten my prose, and find the throughline I was missing. It's become my thinking partner for wrestling with ideas that matter.

But here's what I've learned - the quality of what I get back depends entirely on how clearly I can articulate what I need. It's not about the AI being smart; it's about me being intentional about the conversation.

Is this it? Have we found tools that actually amplify our thinking instead of replacing it? Because if I'm going to operate from a place of assumed worthiness, I want every advantage I can get.

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